Freudulance

Has anyone ever considered that Sigmund Freud's ridiculous theories on psychosexual development may be a result of his chronic cocaine use? Seriously, the guy was on crack pretty much every day-- not only did he believe it served legitimate medical purposes (curing illness, healing), but he also believed that it had a stimulatory effect on the mind. I am sure Rick James, Ozzie Osbourne and George W. Bush, three of the great scholars of our time, would agree.

I suppose you would have to be on cocaine to believe in the validity of penis envy, castration anxiety, and the universality of the Oedipus Complex. That would seriously take a lot of cocaine. And I even tried taking cocaine and then going back and reading his stuff, and it still didn't work. (And if I could not ascertain a substantial degree of validity in theories Freud developed while using cocaine as I myself was on cocaine, then there is a clear problem.)

If you are to say that cocaine inhibits understanding, then does it not also inhibit thought (rendering Freud's theories freudulent)?

His therapeutic technique of just letting his patient babble on and on was perhaps one of his few meaningful contributions to the field of psychology. To an extent, the concept of the id, ego and superego should provoke some thought about human emotion, but those of us who believe in the idea of free will as the dominating factor behind human action should be compelled to dispense with the concept of the "unconscious," or at least diminish the high importance Freud attached to it.

Don't get me wrong, his theories are fun-- especially if you are looking to piss off some feminists, but they have largely been disproven.

We all know what cocaine can do to the sex drive-- so I think it's clear where his thoughts on psychosexual development were coming from.

To sum up: Freud. Not a real scientist. A few meaningful contributions to the field of psychology, but even these contributions were already in play before his time. He simply refined them. Most of his ideas are silly. But they are fun-- sort of like stand-up comedy.

"Honey, we can't have a boy. No way. He'll want to kill me because he loves your breasts."

What is the nature of your problem? "I was born without a penis. Can I have yours?"

Do you think Lorena Bobbit suffered from penis envy? Clearly not, for if she had she would have coveted the severed penis instead of throwing it upon the forest.

I guess, according to Freud, when guys ask "do you want this [penis]?" we should probably think of the ramifications.

How come we don't have any guys like Freud around now? We could use a few more hacks.

No, really, I love Freud. Don't mind my crude sexual statements. I am on cocaine now.

[Sits up from Freud's couch].

Me: So what do you think is wrong with me?

Freud: Not now... anyone got a twenty? [Snorts].

DISCLAIMER: Most of this is tongue-in-cheek, except for everything above this disclaimer.